De Drama Queen (of King) in je Team: Het Playbook voor een Manager \u2014 salomons.coach<\/title>\r\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Een praktisch handboek voor managers voor het omgaan met een "drama queen of koning" in je team: stop met het belonen van het drama, stuur aan op eigenaarschap en neem de controle terug.\">\r\n<link rel=\"preconnect\" href=\"https:\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\">\r\n<link rel=\"preconnect\" href=\"https:\/\/fonts.gstatic.com\" crossorigin>\r\n<link href=\"https:\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css2?family=Fraunces:opsz,wght@9..144,400;9..144,500;9..144,600;9..144,700&family=Newsreader:ital,opsz,wght@0,6..72,400;0,6..72,500;1,6..72,400&display=swap\" rel=\"stylesheet\">\r\n<style>\r\n :root{\r\n --navy:#0B1C2E;--navy-2:#12293f;--gold:#D7A850;--gold-soft:#E6C98F;--ivory:#F6EEDB;\r\n --cream:#FBF9F4;--ink:#20313f;--muted:#6b7580;--line:#e7ded0;\r\n }\r\n *{box-sizing:border-box;}\r\n body{margin:0;background:var(--cream);color:var(--ink);\r\n 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x1=\"0\" y1=\"48\" x2=\"0\" y2=\"40\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <line x1=\"-48\" y1=\"0\" x2=\"-40\" y2=\"0\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <line x1=\"48\" y1=\"0\" x2=\"40\" y2=\"0\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"30\" cy=\"-30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/><circle cx=\"-30\" cy=\"-30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"30\" cy=\"30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/><circle cx=\"-30\" cy=\"30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,-64 -6,-2.5 0,0 6,-2.5\" fill=\"#D7A850\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,40 -5,2.5 0,0 5,2.5\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"1.3\" stroke-linejoin=\"miter\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"0\" cy=\"0\" r=\"2.2\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <text x=\"155\" y=\"103\" font-family=\"Fraunces, Georgia, serif\" font-size=\"70\" font-weight=\"500\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\">salomons<tspan fill=\"#D7A850\">.<\/tspan>coach<\/text>\r\n <\/svg>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n<div class=\"hero\">\r\n <div class=\"card\">\r\n <div class=\"kicker\">Mensen aansturen \u00b7 Het draaiboek voor een manager<\/div>\r\n <h1>De dramakoningin (of -koning) in jouw team<\/h1>\r\n <p class=\"sub\">Hoe je ermee omgaat \u2014 zonder er deel van uit te maken.<\/p>\r\n <div class=\"crown\">\r\n <svg viewbox=\"0 0 300 200\" role=\"img\" aria-label=\"kroonmerk\">\r\n <g fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#E6C98F\" stroke-width=\"6\" stroke-linejoin=\"round\">\r\n <path d=\"M40,150 L58,50 L110,110 L150,34 L190,110 L242,50 L260,150 Z\"\/>\r\n <line x1=\"40\" y1=\"150\" x2=\"260\" y2=\"150\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <circle cx=\"58\" cy=\"50\" r=\"7\" fill=\"#D7A850\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"150\" cy=\"34\" r=\"7\" fill=\"#D7A850\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"242\" cy=\"50\" r=\"7\" fill=\"#D7A850\"\/>\r\n <\/svg>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<div class=\"meta\">Bij <strong>salomons.coach<\/strong> \u00b7 7 augustus 2026 \u00b7 Leiderschaps- & Teamcoaching<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n<article>\r\n\r\n <p class=\"drop\">Bijna elke manager die ik coach heeft er \u00e9\u00e9n. Ze lopen er niet mee te koop. We zijn twintig minuten bezig met een sessie over strategie of een reorganisatie, en dan komt het eruit, meestal gepaard met een zucht: <em>\"En dan is er nog deze ene persoon in mijn team\u2026\"<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n <p>Je kent er wel zo eentje. Elk molshoopje is een berg. Elke tegenslag is een verraad. Vergaderingen worden gekaapt, de stemming van het hele team lijkt af te hangen van hoe ze hun ochtend zijn begonnen, en je bent stilletjes je week gaan plannen rondom hun reacties. Je verbeeldt je dit niet, en je bent geen slechte manager omdat je dit uitputtend vindt.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <p class=\"lead\">Dus laat me je uitleggen wat ik daadwerkelijk doe met managers wanneer dit op tafel komt. Geen theorie. De acties.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <h2>Eerst verwijderen we het label<\/h2>\r\n <p>Ik snap waarom je ze een dramakoningin noemt. Het is een snelle manier van zeggen, en het is een opluchting om het eindelijk een naam te geven. Maar dit is het probleem met dat etiket: het vertelt je dat de persoon het probleem is, en dat er niets aan te doen valt behalve wachten tot hij of zij weggaat of verandert. Beide opties zetten jou op de bijrijdersstoel.<\/p>\r\n <p>Dus het eerste wat ik doe, is het woord van je afnemen. We stoppen met praten over wie ze <em>zijn<\/em> en beginnen te praten over wat ze <em>doen<\/em> \u2014 het specifieke, herhaalbare gedrag. \"Maakt van een roosterwijziging een persoonlijk conflict in het teamkanaal.\" \"Komt naar me toe met problemen, nooit met opties.\" \"Wordt stil en gekwetst bij feedback, waardoor mensen die niet meer geven.\" Dat is geen persoonlijkheid. Dat is een patroon. En met patronen kun je werken.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <h2>De vraag die ik stel voor al het andere<\/h2>\r\n <p>\"Wat hebben ze eraan?\"<\/p>\r\n <p>Managers pauzeren hier meestal, omdat het onvriendelijk voelt. Dat is het niet. Niemand blijft een patroon volhouden dat hen alles kost en niets oplevert. Het drama vervult een taak. Meestal is dat er een van drie: het levert ze aandacht op waar ze niet om weten te vragen, het haalt ze ergens vanaf waardoor ze de dans ontspringen, of het geeft ze een gevoel van betekenis \u2013 de persoon zijn om wie de kamer draait.<\/p>\r\n <p>Zodra je het resultaat kunt zien, kun je je eigen rol zien. Want hier komt het ongemakkelijke deel: het resultaat is meestal <em>jij<\/em>. Jouw aandacht, jouw geruststelling, jouw gewoonte om de boel te sussen zodat de vergadering door kan gaan. Jij veroorzaakt het drama niet. Maar je financiert het wellicht wel.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <div class=\"callout\">\r\n <div class=\"label\">De hele game, in \u00e9\u00e9n zin<\/div>\r\n <p>Het is niet jouw taak om ze te repareren. Het is om te stoppen met het te financieren.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <p>Je bent hun therapeut niet, en je gaat een volwassen persoon geen andere persoonlijkheid aanmeten. Wat je wel kunt doen \u2014 vanaf deze week \u2014 is veranderen wat het gedrag oplevert. Zo leg ik het uit.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <div class=\"steps\">\r\n <div class=\"step\"><div class=\"num\">1<\/div>\r\n <h3>Controleer wat u beloont<\/h3>\r\n <p>Let het de komende week gewoon eens op. Wanneer ze iets opstarten, wat gebeurt er dan? Laat je vallen waar je mee bezig bent? Reageer je als eerste en snelste? Boek je een 1-op-1 om \"even bij te praten\"? Stuk voor stuk levert dat hen iets op. Je wilt dat een dramatische versie van een bericht loont <em>minder<\/em> van je tijd dan de kalme, directe \u2014 niet meer.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <div class=\"step\"><div class=\"num\">2<\/div>\r\n <h3>Voer het saaie, directe gesprek. Priv\u00e9.<\/h3>\r\n <p>Niet op dit moment, niet waar iedereen bij is. Boek vijftien minuten en wees er specifiek en koelbloedig over:<\/p>\r\n <div class=\"script\">Ik wil het hebben over hoe problemen worden aangekaart. Als er iets mis is, wil ik dat dit direct bij mij wordt neergelegd \u2014 wat er is gebeurd, en wat jij denkt dat we eraan moeten doen. Waar ik niet mee kan werken is wanneer het eerst in het teamkanaal belandt, of uitdraait op een zoektocht naar wie de schuld heeft. Kunnen we het daarover eens zijn?<\/div>\r\n <p>Geen etiket. Geen \"je stelt je aan.\" Alleen het gedrag, de norm en een verzoek. Zeg het \u00e9\u00e9n keer, helder, en leg het niet te veel uit \u2014 te veel uitleggen is hoe je het stuur weer uit handen geeft.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <div class=\"step\"><div class=\"num\">3<\/div>\r\n <h3>Alleen reageren op de Doener-versie<\/h3>\r\n <p>Dit is degene die de zaken echt verandert. Wanneer ze naar je toe komen en helemaal doorslaan \u2014 <em>\"dit is een ramp, het ben ik altijd, ik weet niet wat ik moet doen\"<\/em> \u2014 je doet er niet aan mee en je berispt ze er niet voor. Je leidt het rustig terug naar eigenaarschap:<\/p>\r\n <div class=\"script\">Ok\u00e9. Wat is het gewenste resultaat hier, en wat is \u00e9\u00e9n ding dat je eraan kunt doen?<\/div>\r\n <p>Elke keer weer. Je bent niet koud \u2014 je weigert de spiraal te belonen en beloont in plaats daarvan de oplossing. Doe dit een paar weken consequent en de meeste mensen stellen zich stilletjes opnieuw af, omdat de oude zet niet meer werkt.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <div class=\"step\"><div class=\"num\">4<\/div>\r\n <h3>Houd twee of drie regels klaar voor de vergadering<\/h3>\r\n <p>Als het spannend wordt in de ruimte, wil je niet hoeven improviseren. Houd een paar kalme, saaie omleidingen achter de hand:<\/p>\r\n <div class=\"script\">Dat is een re\u00eble zorg \u2014 laten we dat ergens anders bespreken en dan pak ik het daarna met je op.<\/div>\r\n <div class=\"script\">Laten we bij de beslissing blijven. Wat zou ons daadwerkelijk helpen om verder te komen?<\/div>\r\n <p>Gelijkmatig en zonder irritatie uitgesproken haalt dit de angel eruit zonder iemand te vernederen. De rest van het team zal voelen dat je dit doet en je er meer om vertrouwen.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <h2>Vertel het verschil tussen drama en nood<\/h2>\r\n <p>Dit is belangrijk, dus sla dit niet over. Soms lijkt wat \"drama\" is op iemand die echt worstelt \u2014 overbelast is, iets doormaakt thuis, op een burn-out afstevent. Het gedrag kan van buitenaf identiek lijken. Het verschil merk je wanneer je echte, praktische hulp aanbiedt: iemand in echte nood pakt die aan en gebruikt het; iemand die in een vast patroon zit, slaat het meestal af, omdat geholpen worden het verhaal zou be\u00ebindigen.<\/p>\r\n <p>Als het om nood gaat, bevind je je in een heel ander gesprek \u2014 een menselijk gesprek, misschien samen met HR of de arbodienst erbij. Volg geen draaiboek voor iemand die daadwerkelijk aan het verdrinken is. Als ik managers coach, controleren we dit altijd als eerste, v\u00f3\u00f3r al het andere.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <h2>Bescherm het team zonder deel van het probleem te worden<\/h2>\r\n <p>De rest van je mensen kijkt toe hoe je hiermee omgaat, en zij zijn het ook zat. Je beschermt hen op twee manieren. Ten eerste doe je niet mee aan de roddel \u2014 op het moment dat je met collega's ergens over met je ogen draait, ben je je eigen kleine dramadriehoek begonnen. Ten tweede zorg je ervoor dat het veilig en normaal is voor iedereen om zaken direct aan te kaarten, zodat de dramatische route niet de enige is die reactie uitlokt. Wanneer kalme, directe communicatie betrouwbaar wordt gehoord, verliezen theatrale praktijken hun scherpte.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <h2>Wanneer het niet schakelt<\/h2>\r\n <p>Soms doe je dit allemaal \u2014 consequent, een paar maanden lang \u2014 en er verandert niets. Dat gebeurt. Op dat moment is het geen coachinggesprek meer, maar een functioneringsgesprek. Je benoemt de kloof helder, je verbindt hem aan de verwachtingen die je van iedereen zou hebben, en je handelt ernaar. \"Moeilijk om mee samen te werken\" is een legitiem prestatieprobleem wanneer het invloed heeft op het team, en je mag het ook zo behandelen. Vriendelijk, duidelijk en zonder excuses.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <h2>De verschuiving die ik van je wil<\/h2>\r\n <p>Stop met wachten tot deze persoon iemand anders wordt. Dat is de valkuil, en het houdt je vast en verbitterd. Jouw macht lag nooit in het veranderen van hen. Die ligt in het veranderen van wat er hierna gebeurt \u2014 wat je beloont, wat je ombuigt, waar je je grens trekt. Doe dat met vaste hand en er gebeurt \u00e9\u00e9n van twee dingen: het patroon dooft uit omdat het niets meer oplevert, of de persoon haakt zelf af. Beide zijn prima uitkomsten. Beide betekenen dat jij de leiding neemt.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <div class=\"cta\">\r\n <h2>Laat iemand je alle hoeken van de kamer zien?<\/h2>\r\n <p>Laten we \u00e9\u00e9n echte situatie pakken \u2014 de specifieke persoon, de specifieke vergadering \u2014 en die helemaal doorlopen. Inclusief scenario's en al. Dat is meestal alles wat nodig is om je weer achter het stuur te krijgen.<\/p>\r\n <a class=\"btn\" href=\"https:\/\/salomons.coach\/nl\/contact\/\">Begin het gesprek<\/a>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <div class=\"author\">\r\n <div class=\"badge\">\r\n <svg viewbox=\"0 0 150 150\" role=\"img\" aria-label=\"salomons.coach mark\">\r\n <g transform=\"translate(75,78)\">\r\n <path d=\"M 5.85 -47.64 A 48 48 0 1 1 -5.85 -47.64\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#E6C98F\" stroke-width=\"2.6\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,-64 -6,-2.5 0,0 6,-2.5\" fill=\"#D7A850\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,40 -5,2.5 0,0 5,2.5\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#E6C98F\" stroke-width=\"1.6\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"0\" cy=\"0\" r=\"2.4\" fill=\"#E6C98F\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <\/svg>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <div>\r\n <h4>Jan Salomons \u2014 salomons.coach<\/h4>\r\n <p>Jan is een doorgewinterde leidinggevende die nu werkt als executive coach, teamcoach en transformatiepartner. Ruim vijfendertig jaar ervaring met senior leiders in meer dan zestig landen, en een gekozen lid van de Harvard Business Review Advisory Council. No-nonsense, met de poten in de modder, en onvermurwbaar gefocust op blijvende resultaten.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/article>\r\n\r\n<footer>\r\n <div class=\"tag\">DOORBRAAK & VERNIEUW JE LEIDERSCHAP<\/div>\r\n <p>salomons.coach \u00a0\u00b7\u00a0 J.K. Salomons Holding B.V., 2018\u20132026<\/p>\r\n<\/footer>\r\n\r\n<\/body>\r\n<\/html>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Almost every manager has that one person \u2014 every molehill a mountain, every meeting hijacked. Labelling them a “drama queen” puts you in the passenger seat. This is the practical playbook I walk managers through: stop funding the drama, redirect to ownership, and lead with a steady hand.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12974,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rs_blank_template":"","rs_page_bg_color":"","slide_template_v7":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,193,194,199,192],"tags":[468,142,72,366,122,120],"class_list":["post-12977","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-self-personal-growth","category-teams-collaboration","category-tools-methods","category-vuca-leadership","tag-behavior","tag-communication","tag-leadership","tag-leadership-behavior","tag-team-dynamics","tag-tools"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A practical manager's playbook for handling a "drama queen or king" on your team: 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x1=\"0\" y1=\"48\" x2=\"0\" y2=\"40\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <line x1=\"-48\" y1=\"0\" x2=\"-40\" y2=\"0\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <line x1=\"48\" y1=\"0\" x2=\"40\" y2=\"0\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"30\" cy=\"-30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/><circle cx=\"-30\" cy=\"-30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"30\" cy=\"30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/><circle cx=\"-30\" cy=\"30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,-64 -6,-2.5 0,0 6,-2.5\" fill=\"#D7A850\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,40 -5,2.5 0,0 5,2.5\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"1.3\" stroke-linejoin=\"miter\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"0\" cy=\"0\" r=\"2.2\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <text x=\"155\" y=\"103\" font-family=\"Fraunces, Georgia, serif\" font-size=\"70\" font-weight=\"500\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\">salomons<tspan fill=\"#D7A850\">.<\/tspan>coach<\/text>\r\n <\/svg>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n<div class=\"hero\">\r\n <div class=\"card\">\r\n <div class=\"kicker\">Mensen aansturen \u00b7 Het draaiboek voor een manager<\/div>\r\n <h1>De dramakoningin (of -koning) in jouw team<\/h1>\r\n <p class=\"sub\">Hoe je ermee omgaat \u2014 zonder er deel van uit te maken.<\/p>\r\n <div class=\"crown\">\r\n <svg viewbox=\"0 0 300 200\" role=\"img\" aria-label=\"kroonmerk\">\r\n <g fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#E6C98F\" stroke-width=\"6\" stroke-linejoin=\"round\">\r\n <path d=\"M40,150 L58,50 L110,110 L150,34 L190,110 L242,50 L260,150 Z\"\/>\r\n <line x1=\"40\" y1=\"150\" x2=\"260\" y2=\"150\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <circle cx=\"58\" cy=\"50\" r=\"7\" fill=\"#D7A850\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"150\" cy=\"34\" r=\"7\" fill=\"#D7A850\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"242\" cy=\"50\" r=\"7\" fill=\"#D7A850\"\/>\r\n <\/svg>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<div class=\"meta\">Bij <strong>salomons.coach<\/strong> \u00b7 7 augustus 2026 \u00b7 Leiderschaps- & Teamcoaching<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n<article>\r\n\r\n <p class=\"drop\">Bijna elke manager die ik coach heeft er \u00e9\u00e9n. Ze lopen er niet mee te koop. We zijn twintig minuten bezig met een sessie over strategie of een reorganisatie, en dan komt het eruit, meestal gepaard met een zucht: <em>\"En dan is er nog deze ene persoon in mijn team\u2026\"<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n <p>Je kent er wel zo eentje. Elk molshoopje is een berg. Elke tegenslag is een verraad. Vergaderingen worden gekaapt, de stemming van het hele team lijkt af te hangen van hoe ze hun ochtend zijn begonnen, en je bent stilletjes je week gaan plannen rondom hun reacties. Je verbeeldt je dit niet, en je bent geen slechte manager omdat je dit uitputtend vindt.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <p class=\"lead\">Dus laat me je uitleggen wat ik daadwerkelijk doe met managers wanneer dit op tafel komt. Geen theorie. De acties.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <h2>Eerst verwijderen we het label<\/h2>\r\n <p>Ik snap waarom je ze een dramakoningin noemt. Het is een snelle manier van zeggen, en het is een opluchting om het eindelijk een naam te geven. Maar dit is het probleem met dat etiket: het vertelt je dat de persoon het probleem is, en dat er niets aan te doen valt behalve wachten tot hij of zij weggaat of verandert. Beide opties zetten jou op de bijrijdersstoel.<\/p>\r\n <p>Dus het eerste wat ik doe, is het woord van je afnemen. We stoppen met praten over wie ze <em>zijn<\/em> en beginnen te praten over wat ze <em>doen<\/em> \u2014 het specifieke, herhaalbare gedrag. \"Maakt van een roosterwijziging een persoonlijk conflict in het teamkanaal.\" \"Komt naar me toe met problemen, nooit met opties.\" \"Wordt stil en gekwetst bij feedback, waardoor mensen die niet meer geven.\" Dat is geen persoonlijkheid. Dat is een patroon. En met patronen kun je werken.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <h2>De vraag die ik stel voor al het andere<\/h2>\r\n <p>\"Wat hebben ze eraan?\"<\/p>\r\n <p>Managers pauzeren hier meestal, omdat het onvriendelijk voelt. Dat is het niet. Niemand blijft een patroon volhouden dat hen alles kost en niets oplevert. Het drama vervult een taak. Meestal is dat er een van drie: het levert ze aandacht op waar ze niet om weten te vragen, het haalt ze ergens vanaf waardoor ze de dans ontspringen, of het geeft ze een gevoel van betekenis \u2013 de persoon zijn om wie de kamer draait.<\/p>\r\n <p>Zodra je het resultaat kunt zien, kun je je eigen rol zien. Want hier komt het ongemakkelijke deel: het resultaat is meestal <em>jij<\/em>. Jouw aandacht, jouw geruststelling, jouw gewoonte om de boel te sussen zodat de vergadering door kan gaan. Jij veroorzaakt het drama niet. Maar je financiert het wellicht wel.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <div class=\"callout\">\r\n <div class=\"label\">De hele game, in \u00e9\u00e9n zin<\/div>\r\n <p>Het is niet jouw taak om ze te repareren. Het is om te stoppen met het te financieren.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <p>Je bent hun therapeut niet, en je gaat een volwassen persoon geen andere persoonlijkheid aanmeten. Wat je wel kunt doen \u2014 vanaf deze week \u2014 is veranderen wat het gedrag oplevert. Zo leg ik het uit.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <div class=\"steps\">\r\n <div class=\"step\"><div class=\"num\">1<\/div>\r\n <h3>Controleer wat u beloont<\/h3>\r\n <p>Let het de komende week gewoon eens op. Wanneer ze iets opstarten, wat gebeurt er dan? Laat je vallen waar je mee bezig bent? Reageer je als eerste en snelste? Boek je een 1-op-1 om \"even bij te praten\"? Stuk voor stuk levert dat hen iets op. Je wilt dat een dramatische versie van een bericht loont <em>minder<\/em> van je tijd dan de kalme, directe \u2014 niet meer.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <div class=\"step\"><div class=\"num\">2<\/div>\r\n <h3>Voer het saaie, directe gesprek. Priv\u00e9.<\/h3>\r\n <p>Niet op dit moment, niet waar iedereen bij is. Boek vijftien minuten en wees er specifiek en koelbloedig over:<\/p>\r\n <div class=\"script\">Ik wil het hebben over hoe problemen worden aangekaart. Als er iets mis is, wil ik dat dit direct bij mij wordt neergelegd \u2014 wat er is gebeurd, en wat jij denkt dat we eraan moeten doen. Waar ik niet mee kan werken is wanneer het eerst in het teamkanaal belandt, of uitdraait op een zoektocht naar wie de schuld heeft. Kunnen we het daarover eens zijn?<\/div>\r\n <p>Geen etiket. Geen \"je stelt je aan.\" Alleen het gedrag, de norm en een verzoek. Zeg het \u00e9\u00e9n keer, helder, en leg het niet te veel uit \u2014 te veel uitleggen is hoe je het stuur weer uit handen geeft.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <div class=\"step\"><div class=\"num\">3<\/div>\r\n <h3>Alleen reageren op de Doener-versie<\/h3>\r\n <p>Dit is degene die de zaken echt verandert. Wanneer ze naar je toe komen en helemaal doorslaan \u2014 <em>\"dit is een ramp, het ben ik altijd, ik weet niet wat ik moet doen\"<\/em> \u2014 je doet er niet aan mee en je berispt ze er niet voor. Je leidt het rustig terug naar eigenaarschap:<\/p>\r\n <div class=\"script\">Ok\u00e9. Wat is het gewenste resultaat hier, en wat is \u00e9\u00e9n ding dat je eraan kunt doen?<\/div>\r\n <p>Elke keer weer. Je bent niet koud \u2014 je weigert de spiraal te belonen en beloont in plaats daarvan de oplossing. Doe dit een paar weken consequent en de meeste mensen stellen zich stilletjes opnieuw af, omdat de oude zet niet meer werkt.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <div class=\"step\"><div class=\"num\">4<\/div>\r\n <h3>Houd twee of drie regels klaar voor de vergadering<\/h3>\r\n <p>Als het spannend wordt in de ruimte, wil je niet hoeven improviseren. Houd een paar kalme, saaie omleidingen achter de hand:<\/p>\r\n <div class=\"script\">Dat is een re\u00eble zorg \u2014 laten we dat ergens anders bespreken en dan pak ik het daarna met je op.<\/div>\r\n <div class=\"script\">Laten we bij de beslissing blijven. Wat zou ons daadwerkelijk helpen om verder te komen?<\/div>\r\n <p>Gelijkmatig en zonder irritatie uitgesproken haalt dit de angel eruit zonder iemand te vernederen. De rest van het team zal voelen dat je dit doet en je er meer om vertrouwen.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <h2>Vertel het verschil tussen drama en nood<\/h2>\r\n <p>Dit is belangrijk, dus sla dit niet over. Soms lijkt wat \"drama\" is op iemand die echt worstelt \u2014 overbelast is, iets doormaakt thuis, op een burn-out afstevent. Het gedrag kan van buitenaf identiek lijken. Het verschil merk je wanneer je echte, praktische hulp aanbiedt: iemand in echte nood pakt die aan en gebruikt het; iemand die in een vast patroon zit, slaat het meestal af, omdat geholpen worden het verhaal zou be\u00ebindigen.<\/p>\r\n <p>Als het om nood gaat, bevind je je in een heel ander gesprek \u2014 een menselijk gesprek, misschien samen met HR of de arbodienst erbij. Volg geen draaiboek voor iemand die daadwerkelijk aan het verdrinken is. Als ik managers coach, controleren we dit altijd als eerste, v\u00f3\u00f3r al het andere.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <h2>Bescherm het team zonder deel van het probleem te worden<\/h2>\r\n <p>De rest van je mensen kijkt toe hoe je hiermee omgaat, en zij zijn het ook zat. Je beschermt hen op twee manieren. Ten eerste doe je niet mee aan de roddel \u2014 op het moment dat je met collega's ergens over met je ogen draait, ben je je eigen kleine dramadriehoek begonnen. Ten tweede zorg je ervoor dat het veilig en normaal is voor iedereen om zaken direct aan te kaarten, zodat de dramatische route niet de enige is die reactie uitlokt. Wanneer kalme, directe communicatie betrouwbaar wordt gehoord, verliezen theatrale praktijken hun scherpte.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <h2>Wanneer het niet schakelt<\/h2>\r\n <p>Soms doe je dit allemaal \u2014 consequent, een paar maanden lang \u2014 en er verandert niets. Dat gebeurt. Op dat moment is het geen coachinggesprek meer, maar een functioneringsgesprek. Je benoemt de kloof helder, je verbindt hem aan de verwachtingen die je van iedereen zou hebben, en je handelt ernaar. \"Moeilijk om mee samen te werken\" is een legitiem prestatieprobleem wanneer het invloed heeft op het team, en je mag het ook zo behandelen. Vriendelijk, duidelijk en zonder excuses.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <h2>De verschuiving die ik van je wil<\/h2>\r\n <p>Stop met wachten tot deze persoon iemand anders wordt. Dat is de valkuil, en het houdt je vast en verbitterd. Jouw macht lag nooit in het veranderen van hen. Die ligt in het veranderen van wat er hierna gebeurt \u2014 wat je beloont, wat je ombuigt, waar je je grens trekt. Doe dat met vaste hand en er gebeurt \u00e9\u00e9n van twee dingen: het patroon dooft uit omdat het niets meer oplevert, of de persoon haakt zelf af. Beide zijn prima uitkomsten. Beide betekenen dat jij de leiding neemt.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <div class=\"cta\">\r\n <h2>Laat iemand je alle hoeken van de kamer zien?<\/h2>\r\n <p>Laten we \u00e9\u00e9n echte situatie pakken \u2014 de specifieke persoon, de specifieke vergadering \u2014 en die helemaal doorlopen. Inclusief scenario's en al. Dat is meestal alles wat nodig is om je weer achter het stuur te krijgen.<\/p>\r\n <a class=\"btn\" href=\"https:\/\/salomons.coach\/nl\/contact\/\">Begin het gesprek<\/a>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <div class=\"author\">\r\n <div class=\"badge\">\r\n <svg viewbox=\"0 0 150 150\" role=\"img\" aria-label=\"salomons.coach mark\">\r\n <g transform=\"translate(75,78)\">\r\n <path d=\"M 5.85 -47.64 A 48 48 0 1 1 -5.85 -47.64\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#E6C98F\" stroke-width=\"2.6\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,-64 -6,-2.5 0,0 6,-2.5\" fill=\"#D7A850\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,40 -5,2.5 0,0 5,2.5\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#E6C98F\" stroke-width=\"1.6\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"0\" cy=\"0\" r=\"2.4\" fill=\"#E6C98F\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <\/svg>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <div>\r\n <h4>Jan Salomons \u2014 salomons.coach<\/h4>\r\n <p>Jan is een doorgewinterde leidinggevende die nu werkt als executive coach, teamcoach en transformatiepartner. Ruim vijfendertig jaar ervaring met senior leiders in meer dan zestig landen, en een gekozen lid van de Harvard Business Review Advisory Council. No-nonsense, met de poten in de modder, en onvermurwbaar gefocust op blijvende resultaten.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/article>\r\n\r\n<footer>\r\n <div class=\"tag\">DOORBRAAK & VERNIEUW JE LEIDERSCHAP<\/div>\r\n <p>salomons.coach \u00a0\u00b7\u00a0 J.K. Salomons Holding B.V., 2018\u20132026<\/p>\r\n<\/footer>\r\n\r\n<\/body>\r\n<\/html>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Almost every manager has that one person \u2014 every molehill a mountain, every meeting hijacked. Labelling them a “drama queen” puts you in the passenger seat. This is the practical playbook I walk managers through: stop funding the drama, redirect to ownership, and lead with a steady hand.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12974,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rs_blank_template":"","rs_page_bg_color":"","slide_template_v7":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,193,194,199,192],"tags":[468,142,72,366,122,120],"class_list":["post-12977","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-self-personal-growth","category-teams-collaboration","category-tools-methods","category-vuca-leadership","tag-behavior","tag-communication","tag-leadership","tag-leadership-behavior","tag-team-dynamics","tag-tools"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A practical manager's playbook for handling a "drama queen or king" on your team: 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