{"id":12970,"date":"2026-08-07T19:33:07","date_gmt":"2026-08-07T18:33:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/salomons.coach\/?p=12970"},"modified":"2026-08-07T19:33:17","modified_gmt":"2026-08-07T18:33:17","slug":"the-drama-triangle-is-quietly-killing-your-teams-results","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/salomons.coach\/nl\/the-drama-triangle-is-quietly-killing-your-teams-results\/","title":{"rendered":"De dramadriehoek vermoordt stilletjes de resultaten van je team"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\n\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nThe Drama Triangle Is Quietly Killing Your Team's Results \u2014 salomons.coach<\/title>\r\n<link rel=\"preconnect\" href=\"https:\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\">\r\n<link rel=\"preconnect\" href=\"https:\/\/fonts.gstatic.com\" crossorigin>\r\n<link href=\"https:\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css2?family=Fraunces:opsz,wght@9..144,400;9..144,500;9..144,600;9..144,700&family=Newsreader:ital,opsz,wght@0,6..72,400;0,6..72,500;1,6..72,400&display=swap\" rel=\"stylesheet\">\r\n<style>\r\n :root{\r\n --navy:#0B1C2E;\r\n --navy-2:#12293f;\r\n --gold:#D7A850;\r\n --gold-soft:#E6C98F;\r\n --cream:#FBF9F4;\r\n --ink:#20313f;\r\n --muted:#6b7580;\r\n --line:#e7ded0;\r\n --red:#c0504d;\r\n --amber:#d4a13e;\r\n --blue:#5b7fa6;\r\n --teal:#2f9e8f;\r\n --green:#6fbf73;\r\n --brightblue:#3f8fd0;\r\n }\r\n *{box-sizing:border-box;}\r\n body{\r\n margin:0;\r\n background:var(--cream);\r\n color:var(--ink);\r\n font-family:'Newsreader',Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif;\r\n 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}\r\n<\/style>\r\n<\/head>\r\n<body>\r\n\r\n<!-- ===== top bar with logo ===== -->\r\n<div class=\"topbar\">\r\n <svg viewbox=\"0 0 780 150\" role=\"img\" aria-label=\"salomons.coach\">\r\n <g transform=\"translate(75,78)\">\r\n <path d=\"M 5.85 -47.64 A 48 48 0 1 1 -5.85 -47.64\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"2.2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <line x1=\"0\" y1=\"48\" x2=\"0\" y2=\"40\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <line x1=\"-48\" y1=\"0\" x2=\"-40\" y2=\"0\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <line x1=\"48\" y1=\"0\" x2=\"40\" y2=\"0\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"30\" cy=\"-30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/><circle cx=\"-30\" cy=\"-30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"30\" cy=\"30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/><circle cx=\"-30\" cy=\"30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,-64 -6,-2.5 0,0 6,-2.5\" fill=\"#D7A850\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,40 -5,2.5 0,0 5,2.5\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"1.3\" stroke-linejoin=\"miter\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"0\" cy=\"0\" r=\"2.2\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <text x=\"155\" y=\"103\" font-family=\"Fraunces, Georgia, serif\" font-size=\"70\" font-weight=\"500\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\">salomons<tspan fill=\"#D7A850\">.<\/tspan>coach<\/text>\r\n <\/svg>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<!-- ===== hero title card ===== -->\r\n<div class=\"hero\">\r\n <div class=\"card\">\r\n <div class=\"kicker\">Communication · Team Dynamics<\/div>\r\n <h1>The Drama Triangle Is Quietly Killing Your Team's Results<\/h1>\r\n <div class=\"compass\">\r\n <svg viewbox=\"0 0 150 150\" role=\"img\" aria-label=\"compass mark\">\r\n <g transform=\"translate(75,78)\">\r\n <path d=\"M 5.85 -47.64 A 48 48 0 1 1 -5.85 -47.64\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#E6C98F\" stroke-width=\"2.2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <line x1=\"0\" y1=\"48\" x2=\"0\" y2=\"40\" stroke=\"#E6C98F\" stroke-width=\"2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <line x1=\"-48\" y1=\"0\" x2=\"-40\" y2=\"0\" stroke=\"#E6C98F\" stroke-width=\"2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <line x1=\"48\" y1=\"0\" x2=\"40\" y2=\"0\" stroke=\"#E6C98F\" stroke-width=\"2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,-64 -6,-2.5 0,0 6,-2.5\" fill=\"#D7A850\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,40 -5,2.5 0,0 5,2.5\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#E6C98F\" stroke-width=\"1.3\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"0\" cy=\"0\" r=\"2.2\" fill=\"#E6C98F\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <\/svg>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<div class=\"meta\">Bij <strong>salomons.coach<\/strong>  \u00b7 7 augustus 2026 \u00b7 Leiderschaps- & Teamcoaching<\/div>\r\n\r\n<!-- ===== article ===== -->\r\n<article>\r\n\r\n <p class=\"drop\">It won't kill anyone. It's just tiring, and it wears a team down over months without anyone quite noticing. The reason I keep coming back to it is that the pull into it is there every single day, and most leaders walk straight past it \u2014 because it never looks like a crisis.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <p>Picture the meeting. Somebody's getting blamed. Somebody else \"can't.\" A third person quietly takes over the whole thing and will complain about it later. Voices stay reasonable. And still nothing actually moves \u2014 the decision gets pushed to next week again, the escalation lands back on your desk, and two good people have already mentally left the room.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <p class=\"lead\">That's the Drama Triangle. And you're the one paying for it, in the only currency that counts: results.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <p>I run into it in almost every leadership team I coach. Good people, real pressure, decent intentions \u2014 and three roles that quietly guarantee nobody wins.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <figure>\r\n <!-- ===== branded drama \/ winner triangle graphic ===== -->\r\n <svg viewbox=\"0 0 1200 928\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" font-family=\"Fraunces, Georgia, serif\" role=\"img\" aria-label=\"From the Drama Triangle to the Winner's Triangle\">\r\n <defs>\r\n <radialgradient id=\"fbg\" cx=\"50%\" cy=\"24%\" r=\"95%\"><stop offset=\"0%\" stop-color=\"#fbf9f4\"\/><stop offset=\"100%\" stop-color=\"#efe9dd\"\/><\/radialgradient>\r\n <lineargradient id=\"fnavy\" x1=\"0\" y1=\"0\" x2=\"0\" y2=\"1\"><stop offset=\"0%\" stop-color=\"#173357\"\/><stop offset=\"100%\" stop-color=\"#0b1b30\"\/><\/lineargradient>\r\n <lineargradient id=\"fgold\" x1=\"0\" y1=\"0\" x2=\"1\" y2=\"0\"><stop offset=\"0%\" stop-color=\"#e2c476\"\/><stop offset=\"100%\" stop-color=\"#b88f33\"\/><\/lineargradient>\r\n <filter id=\"fsoft\" x=\"-30%\" y=\"-30%\" width=\"160%\" height=\"160%\"><fedropshadow dx=\"0\" dy=\"6\" stddeviation=\"8\" flood-color=\"#000\" flood-opacity=\"0.30\"\/><\/filter>\r\n <marker id=\"fah\" markerwidth=\"10\" markerheight=\"10\" refx=\"7\" refy=\"3\" orient=\"auto\"><path d=\"M0,0 L7,3 L0,6 Z\" fill=\"#b98f34\"\/><\/marker>\r\n <marker id=\"fahg\" markerwidth=\"10\" markerheight=\"10\" refx=\"7\" refy=\"3\" orient=\"auto\"><path d=\"M0,0 L7,3 L0,6 Z\" fill=\"#e6c98f\"\/><\/marker>\r\n <\/defs>\r\n <rect width=\"1200\" height=\"928\" fill=\"url(#fbg)\"\/>\r\n <g transform=\"translate(444,20) scale(0.40)\">\r\n <g transform=\"translate(75,78)\">\r\n <path d=\"M 5.85 -47.64 A 48 48 0 1 1 -5.85 -47.64\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"2.2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <line x1=\"0\" y1=\"48\" x2=\"0\" y2=\"40\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <line x1=\"-48\" y1=\"0\" x2=\"-40\" y2=\"0\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <line x1=\"48\" y1=\"0\" x2=\"40\" y2=\"0\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"2\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"30\" cy=\"-30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/><circle cx=\"-30\" cy=\"-30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"30\" cy=\"30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/><circle cx=\"-30\" cy=\"30\" r=\"1.4\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,-64 -6,-2.5 0,0 6,-2.5\" fill=\"#D7A850\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,40 -5,2.5 0,0 5,2.5\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#0B1C2E\" stroke-width=\"1.3\" stroke-linejoin=\"miter\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"0\" cy=\"0\" r=\"2.2\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <text x=\"155\" y=\"103\" font-size=\"70\" font-weight=\"500\" fill=\"#0B1C2E\">salomons<tspan fill=\"#D7A850\">.<\/tspan>coach<\/text>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <text x=\"600\" y=\"124\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"38\" fill=\"#14243d\">The Drama Triangle at Work<\/text>\r\n <text x=\"600\" y=\"152\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"16\" fill=\"#6b7580\" font-style=\"italic\">Not life-threatening \u2014 just uncomfortable, draining, and everywhere. Take the wheel and switch triangles.<\/text>\r\n <g transform=\"translate(0,68)\">\r\n <rect x=\"48\" y=\"128\" width=\"520\" height=\"612\" rx=\"20\" fill=\"url(#fnavy)\" stroke=\"#6b4a2a\" stroke-width=\"1.5\" filter=\"url(#fsoft)\"\/>\r\n <text x=\"308\" y=\"172\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"24\" fill=\"#e6c98f\" letter-spacing=\"1\">THE DRAMA TRIANGLE<\/text>\r\n <rect x=\"228\" y=\"182\" width=\"160\" height=\"2\" fill=\"#9c6f38\" opacity=\"0.8\"\/>\r\n <text x=\"308\" y=\"204\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"13\" fill=\"#9aa9b8\" font-style=\"italic\">everyone loses \u2014 a negative spiral<\/text>\r\n <g fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#b98f34\" stroke-width=\"3\" opacity=\"0.9\">\r\n <path d=\"M206,300 Q308,250 410,300\" marker-end=\"url(#fah)\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M440,355 Q420,470 344,501\" marker-end=\"url(#fah)\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M272,501 Q150,430 176,355\" marker-end=\"url(#fah)\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <g transform=\"translate(140,300)\">\r\n <circle r=\"58\" fill=\"#c0504d\" filter=\"url(#fsoft)\"\/><circle r=\"58\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#e79b98\" stroke-width=\"2\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M-30,-14 L-10,-6 M30,-14 L10,-6\" stroke=\"#3a1414\" stroke-width=\"4\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"-16\" cy=\"0\" r=\"5\" fill=\"#3a1414\"\/><circle cx=\"16\" cy=\"0\" r=\"5\" fill=\"#3a1414\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M-18,26 Q0,14 18,26\" stroke=\"#3a1414\" stroke-width=\"4\" fill=\"none\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <text x=\"140\" y=\"208\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"20\" fill=\"#eab4b2\">Vervolger<\/text>\r\n <text x=\"140\" y=\"392\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"12.5\" fill=\"#e2d3c6\" font-style=\"italic\">\u201cIt\u2019s always the same<\/text>\r\n <text x=\"140\" y=\"408\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"12.5\" fill=\"#e2d3c6\" font-style=\"italic\">story with you.\u201d<\/text>\r\n <g transform=\"translate(476,300)\">\r\n <circle r=\"58\" fill=\"#d4a13e\" filter=\"url(#fsoft)\"\/><circle r=\"58\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#f0d295\" stroke-width=\"2\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M-30,-16 Q-18,-22 -6,-16 M6,-16 Q18,-22 30,-16\" stroke=\"#4a3410\" stroke-width=\"4\" fill=\"none\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"-16\" cy=\"-2\" r=\"5\" fill=\"#4a3410\"\/><circle cx=\"16\" cy=\"-2\" r=\"5\" fill=\"#4a3410\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M-14,24 Q0,20 14,24\" stroke=\"#4a3410\" stroke-width=\"4\" fill=\"none\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M32,-30 q8,10 0,20\" stroke=\"#cfe6ff\" stroke-width=\"3\" fill=\"none\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <text x=\"476\" y=\"208\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"20\" fill=\"#f0d295\">Redder<\/text>\r\n <text x=\"476\" y=\"392\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"12.5\" fill=\"#efe4cf\" font-style=\"italic\">\u201cJust let me do<\/text>\r\n <text x=\"476\" y=\"408\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"12.5\" fill=\"#efe4cf\" font-style=\"italic\">it for you.\u201d<\/text>\r\n <g transform=\"translate(308,556)\">\r\n <circle r=\"58\" fill=\"#5b7fa6\" filter=\"url(#fsoft)\"\/><circle r=\"58\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#a9c6e0\" stroke-width=\"2\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M-30,-6 L-10,-14 M30,-6 L10,-14\" stroke=\"#16283a\" stroke-width=\"4\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"-16\" cy=\"0\" r=\"5\" fill=\"#16283a\"\/><circle cx=\"16\" cy=\"0\" r=\"5\" fill=\"#16283a\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M-16,28 Q0,16 16,28\" stroke=\"#16283a\" stroke-width=\"4\" fill=\"none\" stroke-linecap=\"round\" transform=\"rotate(180 0 24)\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M18,8 q4,10 0,16 q-4,-6 0,-16\" fill=\"#cfe6ff\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <text x=\"308\" y=\"648\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"20\" fill=\"#bcd6ef\">Slachtoffer<\/text>\r\n <text x=\"308\" y=\"672\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"12.5\" fill=\"#dbe7f3\" font-style=\"italic\">\u201cYes, but\u2026 there\u2019s nothing I can do.\u201d<\/text>\r\n <text x=\"308\" y=\"712\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"12\" fill=\"#8fa0b0\">blame \u00b7 frustration \u00b7 disengagement<\/text>\r\n <path d=\"M556,404 L606,404 L606,390 L634,430 L606,470 L606,456 L556,456 Z\" fill=\"url(#fgold)\" filter=\"url(#fsoft)\"\/>\r\n <text x=\"581\" y=\"426\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"12\" fill=\"#20130a\" font-style=\"italic\">take<\/text>\r\n <text x=\"581\" y=\"444\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"12\" fill=\"#20130a\" font-style=\"italic\">the wheel<\/text>\r\n <rect x=\"632\" y=\"128\" width=\"520\" height=\"612\" rx=\"20\" fill=\"url(#fnavy)\" stroke=\"#c9a24a\" stroke-width=\"1.5\" filter=\"url(#fsoft)\"\/>\r\n <text x=\"892\" y=\"172\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"24\" fill=\"#e6c98f\" letter-spacing=\"1\">THE WINNER\u2019S TRIANGLE<\/text>\r\n <rect x=\"812\" y=\"182\" width=\"160\" height=\"2\" fill=\"#c9a24a\" opacity=\"0.9\"\/>\r\n <text x=\"892\" y=\"204\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"13\" fill=\"#9aa9b8\" font-style=\"italic\">equal footing \u2014 real contact<\/text>\r\n <g fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#e6c98f\" stroke-width=\"3\" opacity=\"0.95\">\r\n <path d=\"M790,300 Q892,250 994,300\" marker-end=\"url(#fahg)\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M1024,355 Q1004,470 928,501\" marker-end=\"url(#fahg)\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M856,501 Q734,430 760,355\" marker-end=\"url(#fahg)\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <g transform=\"translate(724,300)\">\r\n <circle r=\"58\" fill=\"#2f9e8f\" filter=\"url(#fsoft)\"\/><circle r=\"58\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#8fe0d2\" stroke-width=\"2\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M-28,-14 L-8,-14 M8,-14 L28,-14\" stroke=\"#0c322d\" stroke-width=\"4\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"-16\" cy=\"0\" r=\"5\" fill=\"#0c322d\"\/><circle cx=\"16\" cy=\"0\" r=\"5\" fill=\"#0c322d\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M-14,24 L14,24\" stroke=\"#0c322d\" stroke-width=\"4\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <text x=\"724\" y=\"208\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"20\" fill=\"#9fe6d8\">Uitdager<\/text>\r\n <text x=\"724\" y=\"392\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"12.5\" fill=\"#d6f0ea\" font-style=\"italic\">names limits,<\/text>\r\n <text x=\"724\" y=\"408\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"12.5\" fill=\"#d6f0ea\" font-style=\"italic\">asks open questions<\/text>\r\n <g transform=\"translate(1060,300)\">\r\n <circle r=\"58\" fill=\"#6fbf73\" filter=\"url(#fsoft)\"\/><circle r=\"58\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#bfe6c1\" stroke-width=\"2\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M-28,-16 Q-18,-20 -8,-16 M8,-16 Q18,-20 28,-16\" stroke=\"#173d1a\" stroke-width=\"4\" fill=\"none\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"-16\" cy=\"-2\" r=\"5\" fill=\"#173d1a\"\/><circle cx=\"16\" cy=\"-2\" r=\"5\" fill=\"#173d1a\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M-20,20 Q0,36 20,20\" stroke=\"#173d1a\" stroke-width=\"4\" fill=\"none\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <text x=\"1060\" y=\"208\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"20\" fill=\"#c6ecc7\">Coach<\/text>\r\n <text x=\"1060\" y=\"392\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"12.5\" fill=\"#e0f2e0\" font-style=\"italic\">compassion,<\/text>\r\n <text x=\"1060\" y=\"408\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"12.5\" fill=\"#e0f2e0\" font-style=\"italic\">not pity<\/text>\r\n <g transform=\"translate(892,556)\">\r\n <circle r=\"58\" fill=\"#3f8fd0\" filter=\"url(#fsoft)\"\/><circle r=\"58\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#a9d3f2\" stroke-width=\"2\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M-28,-16 L-8,-12 M8,-12 L28,-16\" stroke=\"#0e2740\" stroke-width=\"4\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"-16\" cy=\"-2\" r=\"5\" fill=\"#0e2740\"\/><circle cx=\"16\" cy=\"-2\" r=\"5\" fill=\"#0e2740\"\/>\r\n <path d=\"M-16,22 Q0,30 16,22\" stroke=\"#0e2740\" stroke-width=\"4\" fill=\"none\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <text x=\"892\" y=\"648\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"20\" fill=\"#b6d9f4\">Doer<\/text>\r\n <text x=\"892\" y=\"672\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"12.5\" fill=\"#dcebf7\" font-style=\"italic\">owns choices, seeks solutions<\/text>\r\n <text x=\"892\" y=\"712\" text-anchor=\"middle\" font-size=\"12\" fill=\"#7fa8bf\">responsibility \u00b7 feedback \u00b7 momentum<\/text>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <\/svg>\r\n <figcaption>Figure 1. From the Drama Triangle to the Winner's Triangle \u2014 the same three people, playing a completely different game.<\/figcaption>\r\n <\/figure>\r\n\r\n <h2>Three roles, one dead end<\/h2>\r\n <p>When people communicate badly \u2014 and this is leaders as much as anyone else \u2014 they tend to fall into one of three positions. Take one and the drama starts more or less on cue: friction, disappointment, the feeling of not being heard. Leave it running and you eventually get people checking out and relationships that don't recover. All of it because nobody in the conversation is treating anyone as an equal.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <div class=\"roles\">\r\n <div class=\"role r-pers\">\r\n <h3>The Persecutor<\/h3>\r\n <p>Blames and brings no solutions. Critical, superior, quick to point at you. <span class=\"quote\">\u201cIt's always the same with you.\u201d \u201cI did warn you.\u201d<\/span> In a leadership team this is usually the person who wins the argument and loses everyone in the room while doing it.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <div class=\"role r-vict\">\r\n <h3>The Victim<\/h3>\r\n <p>Feels powerless and makes sure you know it. <span class=\"quote\">\u201cYes, but\u2026\u201d \u201cThere's nothing I can do.\u201d<\/span> Underneath, they're looking for someone to either knock them down or bail them out \u2014 and either way the problem stays theirs, which means it stays yours.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <div class=\"role r-resc\">\r\n <h3>The Rescuer<\/h3>\r\n <p>Always helping, always taking the thing over, always carrying somebody else's problem around. Means well. Also quietly furious, because in their head they carry the whole team. I sometimes call the Rescuer a driving instructor who refuses to get out of the driver's seat \u2014 great, except now nobody else ever learns to drive.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <h2>Why it spreads<\/h2>\r\n <p>The three of them keep each other going. Each one pulls the behaviour out of the others, and the whole thing turns into a loop that's weirdly hard to break \u2014 partly because it drags bystanders in too.<\/p>\r\n <p>And the roles don't stay put. Put a bit of pressure on and they swap. The Rescuer who's covered for a colleague for half a year finally has enough: <em>\u201cRight, I'm done, I'm not spending any more energy on you.\u201d<\/em> One sentence and the Rescuer is now the Persecutor, the colleague is now the Victim, or fires straight back as a Persecutor of their own. That's how a leadership team can sit in \"crisis mode\" for the better part of a year and not be able to tell you when it started, or who started it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <div class=\"callout\">\r\n <div class=\"label\">Turn it on yourself<\/div>\r\n <p>Surrounded by Victims? Check whether you keep showing up as the Rescuer. Lots of Persecutors around you \u2014 notice what that turns you into. Lots of Rescuers? Ask what role you keep handing them.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <h2>Getting out: take the wheel<\/h2>\r\n <p>Everybody lands in the triangle now and then. Not a problem. The problem is setting up camp there. If your team keeps getting stuck in the same loop, somebody has to grab the wheel and step out of it \u2014 into what's usually called the Winner's Triangle. Nine times out of ten, that somebody is you.<\/p>\r\n <p>Roughly, it goes like this. First you notice you're in it. Then you name the roles, starting with your own and not the other person's \u2014 that order matters more than it looks. Then you take responsibility for how <em>you're<\/em> behaving in the stuck conversation, and you invite the other person to do the same by actually holding them to their own patch. Now you're both aiming at a real conversation instead of the loop. And you keep giving feedback, and taking it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <div class=\"shift\"><span>the same three people, transformed<\/span><\/div>\r\n\r\n <div class=\"roles\">\r\n <div class=\"role r-chal\">\r\n <h3>Uitdager <span style=\"font-weight:400;color:var(--muted);font-size:15px;\">\u2014 was the Persecutor<\/span><\/h3>\r\n <p>Still direct, still demanding, but now it's clear expectations, real agreements, open questions and honest feedback \u2014 instead of blame and punishment.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <div class=\"role r-doer\">\r\n <h3>Doer <span style=\"font-weight:400;color:var(--muted);font-size:15px;\">\u2014 was the Victim<\/span><\/h3>\r\n <p>Stops handing out blame and takes hold of their own situation. Moves from \"look what's happening to me\" to \"here's what I'm going to do about it\" \u2014 sets the goal, says what they need, gets on with it.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <div class=\"role r-coach\">\r\n <h3>Coach <span style=\"font-weight:400;color:var(--muted);font-size:15px;\">\u2014 was the Rescuer<\/span><\/h3>\r\n <p>Hands the autonomy back. Asks the questions that help the other person decide and act, instead of grabbing the wheel again. Compassion, yes. Pity, no.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <p>This is more or less the whole job when I work with a team \u2014 moving people off blame and onto ownership, off escalation and onto accountability, off \"somebody should sort this out\" and onto \"this is ours.\" People assume that's the soft end of the work. It isn't. Done properly, it's the quickest way I know to faster decisions, fewer things landing on your desk, and results that don't fall over the moment you look away.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <h2>The role nobody puts their hand up for: the Bystander<\/h2>\r\n <p>Petruska Clarkson added a fourth position, and on a team it might be the most common one going. The Bystander can see exactly what's happening and does nothing about it. <em>\u201cNone of my business.\u201d \u201cTheir own fault.\u201d \u201cToo complicated.\u201d \u201cI can't change anything anyway.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\r\n <p>The uncomfortable bit: on a team, standing back isn't neutral. You're in the room, so you're already involved, and staying quiet is a vote for leaving things exactly as they are. Doing nothing is still doing something \u2014 it just lets you feel innocent about it.<\/p>\r\n <p>Clarkson wasn't telling everyone to go meddle in everything. Her point was narrower and sharper: naming clumsy communication when you actually see it is often the thing that gets a stuck team moving again. And if you're on that team, that's not you being noble. It's you looking after your own interests.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <h2>Which lands you with the real question<\/h2>\r\n <p>Do you dare to say something when your people are holding each other hostage in the Drama Triangle? That one move \u2014 at the right moment, without turning it into blame \u2014 is often what tips a stuck team back into a performing one. It's awkward. It also works. And it's a lot of what I end up doing with leaders.<\/p>\r\n\r\n <div class=\"cta\">\r\n <h2>If your team keeps going round the same drama<\/h2>\r\n <p>Let's talk. Together we look at where the loop is costing you \u2014 in decisions, escalations and energy \u2014 and turn it into something your team can actually run without you refereeing every conversation.<\/p>\r\n <a class=\"btn\" href=\"https:\/\/salomons.coach\/nl\/contact\/\">Begin het gesprek<\/a>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <div class=\"author\">\r\n <div class=\"badge\">\r\n <svg viewbox=\"0 0 150 150\" role=\"img\" aria-label=\"salomons.coach mark\">\r\n <g transform=\"translate(75,78)\">\r\n <path d=\"M 5.85 -47.64 A 48 48 0 1 1 -5.85 -47.64\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#E6C98F\" stroke-width=\"2.6\" stroke-linecap=\"round\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,-64 -6,-2.5 0,0 6,-2.5\" fill=\"#D7A850\"\/>\r\n <polygon points=\"0,40 -5,2.5 0,0 5,2.5\" fill=\"none\" stroke=\"#E6C98F\" stroke-width=\"1.6\"\/>\r\n <circle cx=\"0\" cy=\"0\" r=\"2.4\" fill=\"#E6C98F\"\/>\r\n <\/g>\r\n <\/svg>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <div>\r\n <h4>Jan Salomons \u2014 salomons.coach<\/h4>\r\n <p>Jan is een doorgewinterde leidinggevende die nu werkt als executive coach, teamcoach en transformatiepartner. Ruim vijfendertig jaar ervaring met senior leiders in meer dan zestig landen, en een gekozen lid van de Harvard Business Review Advisory Council. No-nonsense, met de poten in de modder, en onvermurwbaar gefocust op blijvende resultaten.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/article>\r\n\r\n<footer>\r\n <div class=\"tag\">DOORBRAAK & VERNIEUW JE LEIDERSCHAP<\/div>\r\n <p>salomons.coach \u00a0\u00b7\u00a0 J.K. Salomons Holding B.V., 2018\u20132026<\/p>\r\n<\/footer>\r\n\r\n<\/body>\r\n<\/html>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Blame that circles the table, a colleague who “can’t,” a manager who fixes everything and resents it \u2014 the Drama Triangle rarely looks like a crisis, but it stalls decisions and drains your best people. Here’s how leaders spot it, step into the Winner’s Triangle, and take the wheel.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12975,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rs_blank_template":"","rs_page_bg_color":"","slide_template_v7":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,193,194,199,192],"tags":[468,366,409,122,120],"class_list":["post-12970","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-self-personal-growth","category-teams-collaboration","category-tools-methods","category-vuca-leadership","tag-behavior","tag-leadership-behavior","tag-performance-management","tag-team-dynamics","tag-tools"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO Pro 5.0.0.1 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The Drama Triangle quietly stalls decisions and burns out teams. 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